A Change of Plans

Last week at this time I had a plan for this week’s blog. I was headed to my second wedding in six days and my anniversary was coming up. The obvious topic for this week would be something about love and marriage. I had a general outline in my head. I was ready to go. And then nothing went according to the plan.

On Monday my husband and I took off for a special anniversary get-a-way. He had put together the trip as a surprise so I didn’t know until the day before where we were going. Getting there required a six hour drive, but I knew it would be worth it. RPM (aka my husband), had found a wonderful inn that had theme rooms and had chosen the Romeo and Juliet Suite. I walked in to rose pedals on the floor, a large jetted tub and stairs leading up to a king size bed in the “balcony.” Breakfast would be delivered to our room and a massage had been scheduled. There was cheesecake in the mini fridge and a bottle of sparkling cider in the ice bucket.

But as RPM was bringing in the luggage I noticed that something didn’t seem right. He was moving rather slowly and I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable. He said that his back was a little sore from the long ride but he was sure that if he stretched out on the bed for a few minutes he would feel better. An hour later he was in real pain and could hardly move. Dinner reservations were canceled, he took something for the pain, I walked to the closest restaurant and brought home something for us to eat.

The next day we found an Urgent Care Center and RPM ended up with three different prescriptions. All of them had the “may make you drowsy, do not drive” sticker on them. I sat in a very uncomfortable chair trying to read while he slept the day away. We did make it to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, so all was not lost, but it wasn’t the anniversary celebration of our dreams.

When I got home I started on the “love” blog. I selected a wonderful picture from the wedding to add to the post, but couldn’t figure out how to get it the right size. I lost my first two “rough drafts” due to a computer error. Are you feeling my pain here?

Finally I decided to give up. Rather than trying to write about beautiful brides, and romantic trips I would tell the truth. Sometimes in life and love things just don’t go according to the plan. The plans and dreams you have when standing at the altar won’t all come true. There will be ups and downs, good days and bad no matter who you are. I have friends and family that have lost the loves of their lives and face retirement years alone. I know of couples who very much want a baby but have been unable to have one. I know of parents who have lost children to cancer.

Somewhere I read that expectations can destroy relationships. I would take that farther and say that expectations can destroy pretty much anything: our hopes, our sense of self worth. So, I’m working on accepting the unexpected without it destroying my dreams and my resolve to do better. I still have a lot of work to do, but I’m trying.

Life isn’t always fair, or good, or what you want. But doing life together is better than doing life apart. If you are fortunate enough to have a spouse, make the choice daily to love them, even on the days you don’t feel like it If you don’t have a spouse, find a group of friends or family who can give you a sense of worthiness and belonging. And remember, the greatest lover of all, God Himself, is looking down on you with delight, even on the weeks when nothing goes right.

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