The other day I decided to Google the word God. On page one of the results, I discovered that God has a Facebook page. He also Tweets. I’m pretty sure that the real God uses the Bible, rather than social media, to tell His story. I’m also pretty sure that it’s not actually Him doing the tweeting or updating Facebook. I think He has more important things to do.
I know a lot about God. We’ve know each other for a long time. I grew up in the church, went to a Christian school and married a pastor. There have been times when I felt like God was my BFF. Other times I wasn’t sure He cared about me at all. I’ve always believed in Him. But at times the relational aspect of it hasn’t been so great.
As a pastor’s wife you see all kinds of things. I’ve watched churches fight over really important issues like: Should women wear pants in church? Can you have drums in the sanctuary? Does a man need to wear a tie to serve communion? What style of worship is best? What translation of the Holy Bible is the holiest? Things that seemed to have a lot to do with what people think, but not a lot to do with God.
Somewhere I read that as a good pastor’s wife I needed to put my husband and the church above my own needs. I also needed to be a good example to others as far as my walk with the Lord. I read books about how to the a godly Christian woman, and a good pastor’s wife. The problem was that the authors couldn’t seem to agree on what a godly Christian woman looked like. How could I be one when everyone seemed to have a different opinion about what a perfect Christian woman should do and/or be? Was perfect even possible?
Finally, discouraged, depressed and defeated, I went back to THE Book, God’s word. I knew I believed the basics that I had been taught throughout my life. Salvation provided by God’s grace. Yes. God’s great love for me. Yes. God wanting us to be in relationship with Him. Yes. The Bible as God’s Word. Yes. That’s where my focus needed to be. Not on what others thought or expected.
As I continued to grow and learn there were two great books that God used to help me see Him in a whole new way. Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge, helped me see God, not as a harsh being with rules I needed to follow, but as a lover who desired a deep, passionate relationship with me. The Blue Parakeet: Rethinking How You Read the Bible by Scot McNight, helped me see God’s word, not as a rule book, but as a story. A story of how God made man to know Him fully. How we messed up and lost the ability to have that perfect relationship. How by God’s Grace that relationship will some day be restored. A story of hope and not fear.
I realized that it was OK to go to God with my questions. I could get mad and cry out to Him. He loves me. He wants the best for me. He made me. He wants me to feel free to be me.
I found an easy way to remind myself to focus on grace and not on rules and judgment. All I need to do is go to Google. If I Google “God’s grace” I have 18,600,00 sites I can visit to get help. Google God’s judgment and you only get 6,050,000. Even Goggle seems to know that God’s grace is where the focus needs to be.